That’s two on the trot. Like London buses, Chelsea’s two heaviest defeats arrived in quick succession. A 3-0 loss at home to Bournemouth could be dismissed as an anomaly, if only a deeply embarrassing anomaly. But shipping four goals to Watford? That is downright disgraceful, particularly when you consider that the whole team stank the place out.

Here’s some food for thought while you drown your sorrows in alcohol.

#1 On The Wrong Foot

In his post-match press conference, Antonio Conte admitted he got his starting eleven very wrong. Perhaps he was right. Or perhaps the ones who did start the match could have shown a bit more effort and urgency. The front three of Willian, Pedro and Hazard was completely ineffective. Pedro was useless, Willian only less so. Hazard seemed to be drifting in and out of the game, perhaps more concerned about Zidane’s future at Madrid than that of his current manager. Even Kante wasn’t at his best. And it didn’t help that he was having to work extra hard to mop up the constant mistakes from his midfield partner.

#2 Bumbling Baka

I’ve been a vocal supporter of the young Frenchman despite numerous below-par performances. Given time, he could be an excellent midfielder for Chelsea. But in this game, he was downright dreadful. His time on the pitch was littered with cheap giveaways, stupid fouls and basic mistakes that wouldn’t be out of place in a Sunday league player. Thankfully (or not, depending on who you support), his masterclass in malfunction was cut short when he was sent off for a second bookable offence. Of course, you could argue that neither of his two fouls warranted a booking. But this is Mike Dean’s world and we’re all just living in it. He was having none of it and brandished the 89th red card of his eventful refereeing career.

#3 In A Daze

If Chelsea were being outfought by Watford before the red card, they were simply overrun by Watford after that. Inviting pressure onto themselves, Chelsea conceded a penalty when Courtois decided to dive at Deulofeu’s feet for the ball. The Barcelona loanee’s pedigree shined through as he produced an 8/10 dive to sell the penalty to the ref. Up stepped Colonel Cojones, scored and wheeled away in celebration, both middle fingers held aloft for the Chelsea fans to see. Stay classy, Troy Deeney. Chelsea then huffed and puffed but were always held at arm’s length by a Watford side who were proving to be more dangerous than imagined. After somehow managing to find an equalizer, Chelsea conceded thrice more as their defence and midfield parted open like the Red Sea. 4-1 and done.

#4 Silver Lining

At least we didn’t let them have a clean sheet. Eden Hazard, otherwise completely anonymous, roused himself for just enough time to score a goal. It seemed to anger Watford who went on to thump three more goals past a hapless Chelsea side. Despite playing a bit better in the second half – and let’s be honest, it would be very difficult to repeat their abysmal first half showing – Chelsea were down and out by the final whistle.

#5 Endgame?

Chelsea are still in the top four despite winning twice in ten games, and although it’s all doom and gloom now, there are seven days of rest to make things right. Or it could be the perfect opportunity to relieve Conte of his duties, as per the usual damage limitation protocol in place at the club. I, for one, hope Conte uses this time to go back to the drawing board and figure out how to get the most out of this pool of players. Time to regroup, lads.

Next up, it’s West Bromwich Albion at The Bridge. Win this one, please.