We’re inching ever closer to completing the diabolically depressing set of players who will grace the Chelsea Chronicle Worst XI. This week, we turn the spotlight on those speed demons whose only remit is to terrorise the opposition full-backs, take players on and avoid wasting the final ball. Alas, the nominees on our list didn’t get the memo as they were too busy trying not to trip over their own shoelaces.

They’re as fast as a speeding bullet and about as useful as a misfiring gun. Let’s run through your winger nominees for the Chelsea Worst XI.

Gael Kakuta (6 Appearances)

Kakuta is one of the many youngsters who couldn’t make the grade at Chelsea, although the amount of trouble Chelsea had to go through to sign him suggests they had foreseen a very different career for him. Chelsea were hit by a transfer ban, subsequently lifted on appeal to the CAS, for signing the French youngster. Although highly rated at youth level, Kakuta turned out to be a massive disappointment as a senior professional and the player whom Michael Ballack expected to become a future star, simply faded away. Incidentally, he had as many loan spells as he had league appearances for Chelsea.

Marko Marin (6 Appearances)

It is widely understood that Marin was Chelsea’s safety net, a backup plan, in case they could not qualify for the 2012-13 Champions League. A swing of Drogba’s right boot changed the course of history and Marin became the unfortunate casualty of the shift in the fabric of space-time. Eden Hazard arrived to take up his spot, which restricted Marin to just a handful of appearances in his first season. He was farmed out on loan to clubs in four different countries for the length of his Chelsea contract. Suffice to say, the German Messi’s career never got close to that of the Argentinian original.

Scott Sinclair (5 Appearances)

Another young prospect that had Chelsea fans salivating over his youth team successes, Sinclair is most fondly remembered for that dazzling solo run and goal from midfield during his time at Plymouth. That turned out to be the highlight of his Chelsea career as the youngster simply failed to make the step-up to Premier League football. Some part of him might blame it on Wes Brown’s idiotic challenge that broke his metatarsal, just when he was starting to get first-team opportunities at Chelsea.

Juan Cuadrado (13 Appearances)

The Colombian arrived with a reputation as a skillful, direct winger and left as another lightweight overseas player who failed to adapt to the rigours of the Premier League. Cuadrado was brushed off the ball too easily, had minimal impact on games and had to be regularly defended by Mourinho, who preached patience with his new signing. The adaptation never happened, as Cuadrado left for Italy the next season, determined to be anywhere but in England.

Mohamed Salah (13 Appearances)

Chelsea reportedly beat Liverpool to the Egyptian’s signature, in one of those moves where we’re left wondering whether it was just out of spite. Salah had pace to burn, but his decision-making was awful and his performances were infuriatingly inconsistent. Just one season later, Chelsea decided they’d seen enough and loaned him out to Fiorentina, thus beginning a saga of accusations and counter-accusations that recently culminated in the usage of the word ‘extortion’ in the club’s press release.

Shaun Wright-Phillips (82 Appearances)

We end the list of nominees with the original headless chicken footballer, the one whose brain was perennially playing catch-up with his feet and whose crosses had a better chance of landing in Transylvania than on a striker’s head. Wright-Phillips was also swiped from under the noses of another rival, reportedly Arsenal, for an eye-watering sum that I can’t bring myself to type here. He managed to display exactly the sort of ability you would expect from a horribly over-priced, average English footballing talent – all show with little go.

And there you have it. The who’s who and the why’s, all clamouring for your undivided attention. Make your vote count.

The Chelsea Worst XI: The Wingers
Gael Kakuta
Marko Marin
Scott Sinclair
Juan Cuadrado
Mohamed Salah
Shaun Wright-Phillips

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